To be blunt, I’m convinced most Asian women seek out white men because a) they are generally seen as more desirable catches by society b) they want their children to have as many advantages as possible in life – infusing some “European” blood in the mix will increase the odds that they will have more physiological advantages.
It was heartbreaking to watch my friend’s intercultural relationship fall apart (and even harder to not pick a side).
I wondered where it went wrong – but the answer was pretty obvious to everyone involved.
Anyways, here’s my problem: As I reflect on my dating history, I’m keenly aware of the fact that in my past I twice rejected white guys who were perfect complements for me (and handsome, to boot). Just accept one and – ta-da- this grueling thing called dating will be over.
The “other race” categories of guys that I had the hots for, all in some way had the same psychological issues that I had, and so what drew us together also pulled us apart. They won’t understand me the way that a minority, “other race” person would, but they will probably be more devoted.
You don’t address racial dynamics much on your blog, but I have a question for you: I’m a very attractive, westernized Asian female in my early 30’s.
Fun-loving, outgoing and attract all kinds of men easily.
This creates friction when both the man and the woman have the same strengths and weaknesses. And while I may have been looking for a Jewish woman because it would be easier for her to understand me, I wasn’t willing to give up my Catholic girlfriend who turned out to be the greatest person I’ve ever known of any religion. And a disproportionate number of them are still single.
The only difference is that Jewish men are willing to sacrifice a Jewish wife in return for happiness. As a dating coach, my loyalty is to YOUR happiness, Lily.
However, most of it is defined by the fact that I am white and he is Asian.
My relationship (like any relationship) is a compromise between the good, the bad, and the ugly.
If you do not respect and appreciate your partners culture (to the extent you are willing to forsake elements of your own culture for their benefit), intercultural and interracial relationships are nearly impossible.